Women speak about their sex addiction

This is a candid interview (a little dated) with two women that have struggled with sex addict and how it has affected their lives and their relationships. 


I hope it is some value to husbands like me as well as women who are also struggling with sex addiction. It's pretty powerful stuff.

Let me know what you think?


 

Penn State and Sex Addiction - A Connection?

What does one have to do about the other? Maybe a lot more than you think.

For those that may not be following the Penn State scandal where a former assistant football coach is facing charges of sexually abusing eight boys (probably more) over 15 years. This has put this a societal problem on the front of many, many news and sports websites, newspaper and TV shows. 

It's just my observation, but unfortunately many of these very young victims of abuse will be traumatized later in life too. Sadly for many, the damage will result with the victims in adult life using addiction (alcohol, drugs and sex) to cope with their issues. 

This is unscientific information but 11 of 12 women in my wife's inpatient female sex addiction group were victims of rape or incest. Many in her SLAA meetings also share similar experiences as youths or have some form of trauma (i.e. physical abuse) from their family of origin. 

Although my wife had a difficult childhood, she was the one person in her group that was not sexually violated. She has many other issues from her childhood that drove her to act out as a sex addict. 

Through my private detective work, I have since found out that one of her qualifiers (affair partners) was sexually molested by a priest in his teens and another one was shot in the face by his father in high school. My wife had said early in recovery (she won't talk about them with me anymore) that both these men displayed characteristics of sex addiction too (but they didn't know it).

I hope these boys from Pennsylvania (as well as any other child abuse victims in this world) have gotten or get all the therapy and help they need ASAP to live a healthy and sober life. They are all in my prayers.

I Don't Get "It!"

If you are trying to stay in a committed relationship with a female sex addict, have you heard this before: You just don't get it (the sex addict).


Well, last night my wife, who is currently in recovery, started reading Ethlie Ann Vare's Love Addict: Sex, Romance, and Other Dangerous Drugs  This is a book I bought for myself on the Kindle. I told her about it and thought you would get something out of it. I also let her know it would be an easy read. She had been stuck on the Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: The Basic Text for the past month.


She is rather "addicted" to Vare's book as my wife cannot put it down now that she has started it. She finds the read to be somewhat disturbing because she says it speaks to her and her problem and she doesn't like what it says about her. She says by me reading it that I should totally understand her. I told her, that it was informative (I'm 89% done in Kindle speak) but that doesn't mean that "I get you and your addiction" (I try to avoid sex with that word unless I am writing about it.). I don't think I will ever understand my wife have seven (7) sexual affairs and plenty more emotional affairs.


One of the interesting early topics in the book is that your family of origin and your upbringing create the framework for the addiction to flourish in adulthood. I believe many of us knew that already An important point is made that two people raised in the same environment can produce totally different results in adulthood. I guess then it was our bad luck my wife drew the straw to act out her childhood wounding as a married mother and become a sex and love addict.


I have thoughts about my what may happen to our children because of my wife's addiction and our resulting dysfunctional household, but I will wait for another post to address.


I don't know about you, but I'm not sure if I'll ever get "it." or the recover from the destruction that "it" has caused.


I guess I will keep trying to figure it all out. For record, I hope my wife does before me.