Tuesday, November 8, 2011

And now a word from our sponsor....not

My sex addicted wife is trying to commit to the 12-step SLAA Program, yet can't find a sponsor.

I am sure many of you have heard the stories that there is one woman in the room.  I think although that may not be accurate so much any more (based on reports from my wife, not actual experiences of mine), female attendance figures are still somewhat limited. 

With limited participants, many of the women in the SLAA are sexual anorexics, not women's who are acting out with other men.   We won't even talk about the women that continue to return for their one day chip and use the meetings as confessionals for their hook-ups.


My wife is on her second sponsor.  The first one dropped after a week.  She had not had sex in 12 years, so I ask how can someone like that relate to my wife and take her through the steps?


Now she is on sponsor number 2.  I don't know her history but she seems to be unable to fit my wife into her schedule. After a week and a half, my wife has set her bottom lines (again) and nothing else.  This seems to be moving so, so slow.....


My opinion is that failure to engage in a 12-step program only leads to the opportunity to have a relapse. But what other husbands of sex addicts need to know is that it is your wife's problem, if she wants to fix it and follow a healthy path, she will figure it out.


And the husbands, we'll just have to wait and see.  


In my case, my bottom line is: monogamy = marriage.  Acting out (even once) = divorce.  Choose or lose.


Any thoughts?