Monday, November 7, 2011

I Don't Get "It!"

If you are trying to stay in a committed relationship with a female sex addict, have you heard this before: You just don't get it (the sex addict).

Well, last night my wife, who is currently in recovery, started reading Ethlie Ann Vare's Love Addict: Sex, Romance, and Other Dangerous Drugs  This is a book I bought for myself on the Kindle. I told her about it and thought you would get something out of it. I also let her know it would be an easy read. She had been stuck on the Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: The Basic Text for the past month.

She is rather "addicted" to Vare's book as my wife cannot put it down now that she has started it. She finds the read to be somewhat disturbing because she says it speaks to her and her problem and she doesn't like what it says about her. She says by me reading it that I should totally understand her. I told her, that it was informative (I'm 89% done in Kindle speak) but that doesn't mean that "I get you and your addiction" (I try to avoid sex with that word unless I am writing about it.). I don't think I will ever understand my wife have seven (7) sexual affairs and plenty more emotional affairs.

One of the interesting early topics in the book is that your family of origin and your upbringing create the framework for the addiction to flourish in adulthood. I believe many of us knew that already An important point is made that two people raised in the same environment can produce totally different results in adulthood. I guess then it was our bad luck my wife drew the straw to act out her childhood wounding as a married mother and become a sex and love addict.

I have thoughts about my what may happen to our children because of my wife's addiction and our resulting dysfunctional household, but I will wait for another post to address.

I don't know about you, but I'm not sure if I'll ever get "it." or the recover from the destruction that "it" has caused.

I guess I will keep trying to figure it all out. For record, I hope my wife does before me.